Random Letters to Politicians

James told me it’s post about anything week. And I just found my notes from the Republican National Convention. I think I had a glass of wine beforehand…maybe a glass of vodka.

Dear Senator McCain,

Your face terrifies me. In addition, its oldness, combined with the age apparent in your voice, makes you appear slash sound a bit batty (respectively). Lastly, you are severely bald.

Your friend, Caitlin.

Cindy McCain scares me. Just how old is she? I can’t tell. She is younger than husband and old geezer John (not saying much), but with her dyed blonde hair and Botox face, I really can’t get a clear read. The mother, whose name I cant remember (Roberta), has to be at least 90 (actually 96!), which is frightening.

I feel as though Rebulican propaganda is more terrifying (fear driven) than liberal propaganda. There are a lot more images of war and definately more flags. Waving flags that look as if they might smother you if you got too close. Republicans are really into chanting (USA! USA!).

People refuse to sit still at these things. I find that annoying. And the wives are all tears. I can’t tolerate this crap. John McCain is doing his best to give a heartfelt speech on foreclosures, and these people are at their own little Ricky Martin concert. It’s like, let’s just try and make it through this one.

“Sarah Palin has five children”, John McCain keeps saying. Awesome. Say, Sarah, what’s Alaska like? Is it real cold? Bet you have a lot of Seasonal Affective Disorder up there. Hey, do I have to pay for my sun therapy kit?

And here are some random buzz words I wrote down: STRAIGHT TALK EXPRESS. MAVERICK. HOCKEY MOM.

Good times!