On Cocktails

Bob Greene and Ellen tell us having a drink is bad for our waistline.  I disagree.  Last night at the mans, we were having a cocktail or three, and came up with these fun activities to counteract any negative effects your rum and Coke might have on your paunch.  I mean if there aren’t cocktails, it really isn’t a party and it’s certainly not going to be any fun.

• Pillowcase/Potato-sack races in the hallways (A NOTE: it is a good idea to decide on a finish line beforehand, but if you forget, simply declare yourself the winner)
• Put on a play in which someone plays Whitney Houston and the other is Bobby Brown.  When executed properly, the players should be drenched in sweat by the end of Act One.
• Design a crown for the Soul Caliber Tournament Championships.  When there’s pride and prize involved, you’ll be way into it and flail a bit.  (A NOTE: our Soul Caliber Tournament Champion crown was a tiara atop a brown, curly wig.  Also, I was the champion)
• Put the West Side Story record on the old phonograph and act out the scenes.  You should make costumes ahead of time. 
• Pretend that you’re on a soap opera and get catty.  This is especially funny if no one else knows what you’re doing.  Just keep yelling – they’ll catch on eventually.
• Bring cocktail hour to the treadmill.  Multitasking! 

So the next time a dieter or a weight-watcher tries to extol the virtues of sobriety, take the opportunity to extol the virtues on sweating out a hangover.