Working out is overrated.
Scratch that. It’s just not for me. I leave that kind of thing to the professionals. Ditto dieting. I do get curious, though. Like when Oprah lost all that weight (most recently – before she discovered her thyroid problem) I thought, “now how in the hell did she do that?”, but after listening to ten minutes of Bob Greene, I figured I look good enough.
My fitness philosophy (slash conspiracy theory) – the gym is filled to the gills with sado-masochists.
- the gym
- hot fifty year olds, ie: Madonna
- fitness gurus, ie: Richard Simmons, Bob Greene the AntiChrist
- magazines with workout advice
- Kelly Ripa (not fitness related)
- have a coke and a smile (but only if it has sugar in it)
- walk, don’t run
- wearing your athletic gear in public isn’t fooling anyone
- random mandatory dance parties are fun for the whole family
- buying bigger pants isn’t as bad as a muffin top
- “i wish i had a pot”
- denying yourself cake can only lead to binge-eating later
- if junk in the trunk made J. Lo famous, think of what it could do for you
- a lot of things taste better than skinny feels
- wear your confidence on your sleeve