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Caitlin

Visage A Trois

by Caitlin · 3 comments

Much like hearing your voice on a recording, seeing oneself in a three-way mirror can be a shock to the system.  Prior to this, it’s easy to imagine that you’re a two dimensional being with only the one angle.  “So what you’re telling me is that I, too, have a backside?  And that’s what all my followers have been looking at?”  It’s a paradigm shift a la ass. [click to continue…]

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Random Letters to Politicians

October 8, 2008

James told me it’s post about anything week. And I just found my notes from the Republican National Convention. I think I had a glass of wine beforehand…maybe a glass of vodka.
Dear Senator McCain,
Your face terrifies me. In addition, its oldness, combined with the age apparent in your voice, makes you appear [...]

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Movin’ On Up

October 7, 2008

The three flights of stairs up to my apartment have left me winded as of late.  I am especially worried because I’ll be heaving my furniture and various and sundry boxes up and down steps in the very near future…ah, moving day.  The last time I moved, I had a nervous breakdown and was in [...]

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Uncle Bill’s Diet – Believe It!

September 22, 2008

In South Saint Louis, there is a gem of late night dining called Uncle Bill’s Pancake House.  It wouldn’t rank all that high on Zagat’s, but it is my own personal mecca.  The staff is clad in tapered white denim and enough electric blue eyeshadow to put any lady of the night to shame, and [...]

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The Chair Fiasco

September 17, 2008

To avoid potential lawsuits, I make sure to tell everyone who enters my dojo that several of the chairs provided were rescued from the alley and were not actually made for sitting slash adjusting your weight on.  Par instance, there is a leather arm chair whose springs have come through the seat and threaten to [...]

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On Cocktails

September 4, 2008

Bob Greene and Ellen tell us having a drink is bad for our waistline.  I disagree.  Last night at the mans, we were having a cocktail or three, and came up with these fun activities to counteract any negative effects your rum and Coke might have on your paunch.  I mean if there aren’t cocktails, [...]

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Is Your Mascara Running?

September 1, 2008

For the sake of Paunchiness research, I did something ridiculous.  I physically exerted myself on the first date.  Heathen!  Two reasons why this is a bad idea.  One: I do not look normal when I exercise.  I look like a lobster upon entry to boiling water.  Two: It worries me because all I can think [...]

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